Kale Me Maybe

I’m sure you’ve heard time and time again that veggies richer/darker in color are teeming with nutrients. Colorful, bright, dark, handsome…aim for the best. Because I’m so used to my mothers cooking, which the average person would likely find bland and maybe gross (her cookies taste like what I assume is similar to cardboard), I love raw foods in their natural element. Please sir, hold the salt. And this is meant as a compliment to my madre…because of her my taste buds are untainted. But for some, eating veggies is a struggle. Weirdos. Not to fear, solutions abound. Make your veggies into crunchy chips! This is a great starting point. Kale is cooler than Spider Man. It’s rich in calcium and antioxidants, and because kale comes in dark, radiant greens and purples, you’re already aware that it’s more nutritious than the washed out looking iceberg clump sitting idle in the grocery store. Unlike spinach, when you saute kale it doesn’t wither so much – more bang for your buck. And if you’ve ever stepped foot into any healthy, hipster grocery store or cafe, you’ve without a doubt seen bags of kale chips. Kale chips. Delicious. I’m guilty of having never bought a bag of these delicacies before, but I do indeed make them all by myself. I’m a big kid nowww. They’re so easy to make – you could probably just wing it and the chips would taste good, but I’ll save you that extra ounce of brain power and provide this recipe which I’ve adopted from this fab blog.

Kale Me Maybe Chips

  • Preheat the oven to 300 degrees
  • Wash and drain/dry a bunch of kale (I used green kale but I think dino and purple kale would be equally wonderful options – just look for the darkest and richest in color) – even better, buy it from your local farmer’s market…Celebrate the Farmer!
  • De-stem and rip your kale into generous pieces – perhaps slightly smaller than your palm, unless you have creepily small hands
  • Place the kale in a bowl and mix in olive oil to coat the leaves
  • Dress two cookie sheets with parchment paper and place the kale pieces on the sheets
  • Sprinkle generously with Brewer’s Yeast  (if you want to measure it out use about 2 generous tbsp per sheet, but use as much as you desire – nutty/cheesy/delicious flavor)- Guys, woo a girl with yeasty kale chips…low calorie and mineral rich…I hear it works 99.9% of the time
  • Place in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes or until they’re crispy but not burnt, unless you like them like that
  • Store in a bag or tupperware, but I have trouble storing for too long before they start to get soggy, so I suggest making them and eating them

* Fellows, don’t be alarmed, you won’t grow a vagina if you eat these.

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