I Knew You Were Trouble
Taylor Swift. T Swift. T Dawggg. Tay My Name. She gets a lot of s*&%, but I love her. How is she so popular when her bio begins as follows:
Hi, I’m Taylor. I’ve been alive for 22 years now, and I finally have my own kitchen. I’m very excited about this, and generally excited by anything else that falls into the “cute” or “cozy” categories.
She has so many boyfriends it’s mystical, mysterious, and incomprehensible. She can wear stupid huge fake glasses and look good. She can creepily stalk boys and no one thinks it’s weird. Do you think she ever wonders…”Is this real life?” Because I don’t get it. Maybe she cries beer and gives off a pheromone similar to the smell of a football stadium…or a strip club. I wonder if her perfume smells like that?
I’ve attended two T-Swift concerts and proudly flounce around in my red concert tee. If Taylor’s taught me one thing it’s this: do not emulate her…if you do, chances are that your actions will result in multiple restraining orders against followed by a life of celibacy. Real life boys find it creepy when girls follow them around and stare into their bedroom window…at least that’s what I’ve heard.
You Belong With Me
Thank you Tay, for making my Tuesday Terrific.